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What follows is the weekly column we email every Friday that is a companion to this weekly podcast. This podcast episode expands on the content of the column.
Lessons Learned From a Mindfulness Jar
We both have mindfulness jars on our desks and use them regularly in our coaching practices. And Holly used to use hers in her previous career as a grade school teacher. They are helpful in so many situations. And you can easily make one for yourself—do a quick online search, and you will find many suggestions.
If the concept of a mindfulness jar is new to you, here's a short description. A mindfulness jar is a clear jar (like a Ball jar, for example) that is filled with water, a small amount of clear glue, and glitter. The glue is added to create enough viscosity so that when the jar is shaken, the glitter stays suspended in the liquid for a short time. Then, gradually, within a minute or so, the glitter slowly settles back to the bottom of the jar.
If you want to see one in action, watch this 90-second video demonstration by clicking HERE.
We find ourselves using our mindfulness jars frequently to make some important points. Here are five of the lessons we teach.
1. It is normal for all of us to find our "jars" shaken up. Life has a way of doing that to us. It could be the news of the day, a harsh word from a friend, colleague, or family member, or even a curt text or email.
2. The jars are like our minds. When our minds are settled, we can see and think much more clearly. When our jars are shaken up, just the opposite is true. It is impossible to see, think, or act clearly. And it is best to wait until things settle.
3. Learning to pause and not react when our jars are jostled gives us the time and space we need to calm down. When we are calm, we can choose a much more helpful response rather than a churned-up reaction.
4. Learn not to judge your jar or mind when it is stirred up. It happens to everyone. Simply observe and accept it as normal and give it the space and time it needs to calm down.
5. The benefit of learning a few mindfulness practices (meditation, journaling, prayer practices, contemplative walking, yoga, breathing exercises, etc.) is that we will have the practiced tools on hand to calm and recenter ourselves more quickly. In fact, doing these practices proactively will help us every day be less vulnerable to getting hijacked by our emotions.
Elvis Presley may have had great success with the number-one hit "I'm All Shook Up," but for the rest of us, it's something we will rarely, if ever, profit from. We will, however, benefit from learning and accepting the signs of when we are all shook up, and then using some centering practices, maybe even a mindfulness jar, to calm ourselves down before reacting.
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ABOUT THE CREATORS:
Holly Hughes Stoner, LMFT and Scott Stoner, LMFT, are both licensed marriage and family therapists who are partners in life and in work. They are the Co-Directors and Co-Creators of the Wellness Compass Initiative, a non-profit initiative that crates preventative wellness materials for adults, families, and teens. They live in Madison, Wisconsin and are the parents of three adult children and are blessed with two grandchildren, as well.