"Lessons Learned From a Garage Sale"
We recently stopped by a garage sale in our neighborhood. When talking with the owners, they told us that they have been having a spring garage sale every couple of years ever since they moved into their home some twenty years ago. They said it was the perfect combination of spring cleaning and the need to remember to regularly let go of things they don't need anymore. We were so inspired that we are now seriously thinking of having a similar sale ourselves.
As we are in the midst of a series of columns on best practices for enhancing our overall wellbeing, we wanted to acknowledge the importance of practicing all of the shapes and sizes of "letting go" that present themselves throughout our lives.
Thinking about this reminded us of a conversation we had several years ago with a rather large group of people regarding the act of letting go throughout life. We asked the people present to share the challenges they were currently facing related to our topic. They wrote their anonymous responses on index cards, and we collected them and read them out loud for everyone as a way to normalize the many ways in which the challenges of letting go come up for all of us. Here are some of their responses:
"I struggle with letting go when it comes to my children. It's important and hard for me to remember from time to time that it is their life, not mine."
"I find it challenging to let go of anger."
"For me, I have trouble letting go of grudges--to forgive people that have hurt me."
"I find as I get older it is hard, yet necessary, for me to let go of furniture and other possessions that have sentimental value to me."
" Perfectionism and self-criticism are what I struggle to let go of."
"During Covid, I had to learn to let go of so many plans."
"Letting go of things I had hoped would happen, but am now sure will not happen is hard for me, as I realize how little control I really have."
"I am far too critical of someone I know--often just in my own mind--but it is still something I need to learn to let go of. I have recently been focusing on seeing the good in her. I'm 93 years old and still working on all of this!"
"I am finding it definitely challenging to let go of my youth."
"I am such a worrier. I am really working on letting go of my worries about the future."
"Letting go of loss is what has been hardest for me."
We were moved by the depth of what was offered by these people. What they shared was such a powerful reminder that within all of us, just beneath the surface of most of our seemingly calm exteriors, there are many feelings of vulnerability related to the worries, hurts, and fears that we carry. It may seem counter-intuitive, but listening to others who were also struggling with various kinds of "letting go" was actually a positive and uplifting experience for all of us there, as we all felt supported and connected by what we shared.
During the last portion of our time together, we asked those present what gave them hope and what helped them to deal with the challenges of letting go that they had shared. The common responses were talking with others in similar situations and getting their support, normalizing that everyone is facing some kind of challenge around letting go and their spiritual lives. What is known as the Serenity Prayer was shared by many. The profound wisdom of this prayer is that it talks about finding serenity in accepting the things we cannot control or change, having the courage to change the things one can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Life happens. Loss happens. Hurt happens. Change happens. At the same time, though, healing happens, forgiveness happens, self-acceptance happens, and letting go happens. And, as Spring reminds us, new beginnings can and do consistently occur all around us, too.
If you want to hear more about our thoughts on this topic, listen to this week’s 10-minute episode of the Wellness Compass Podcast, which you can find by clicking on “Podcast” at the top of this page.
Speaking of podcasts, Scott has his own podcast, which is just him speaking about a topic that he is passionate about: the integration of spirituality and wellness. The Living Compass Podcast can be found HERE or in your favorite podcast app.